457 days. more than 15 full moons. and again the darkness that follows the breathtaking beauty of the night. Even here, even now, the presence of his absence is everywhere.
How am I doing? Tonight..not so good. Yesterday just fine thank you. Tomorrow...who knows. I am doing my best to stay on top of the waves. To some, I appear to be on top of the world. Always traveling, always going somewhere usually to be with family. Some think I have completed my period of grieving and have sailed through it all. Grief is a very personal thing and everyone deals with it in their own way. Do not attempt to judge me or how I grieve for it is not your place. Some days I am fine. Actually most days I am good. It's when the silence and the emptiness fills the room and overpowers me that it is scary. Unless you have experienced it, don't even try to understand it. I run from the silence and it is a race that I even sometimes win.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I did move into the duplex on the 1st of August. Most of my new furniture has been delivered except for some that was damaged in shipping and is being replaced. I still don't have pictures, etc. on the wall but that will come in time. Some of this stuff I have to retrieve from the storage unit in Alabama next month. Today the landlord delivered the washer and dryer....."Hallelujah Chorus sung here". I had LOTs of dirty clothes both mine and mom's stuff and have been doing loads all day.
I moved mom into the NEW Russellville Nursing & Rehabilitation Center last week. It is SO nice and she seems to like it. It is not near as depressing as the old one was...and...since I am there every day...the brightness of the new facility is a welcome change. I have also been slowly plugging in to the local community. I participated in Hospice volunteer training last week and think that I will try to help establish bereavement grief counseling meetings here at the local office. I also have joined the Community Choir group of the River Valley along with the choir and bell choir at church. I am hoping to meet some new people. I miss my friends. Don't get me wrong, family is great, but you need other people in your life too.
Speaking of family...I went to Branson with cousin Debbie and her daughter and 2 granddaughters last weekend. Branson is only 3 1/2 hrs from here and we had a great time at the Waterpark and Celebration City and the outlet malls. shopping...now that is a Great diversion....retail therapy. oh, and fudge and funnel cakes. We got back on Saturday evening.
I will be driving to Louisiana on Thursday to help celebrate at Nicholas's birthday on Saturday then back on Sunday. I wish I could stay longer since I always have such a great time with the kids and grandkids. Short trip I know but mom has an eye dr's appt and I have a meeting on Monday anyway. I am looking forward to seeing everyone and getting away again. I am so sad that I won't be able to make the Casey-Teter Reunion this year. (I had some really neat stuff for the auction too ;-( I will try to go up and see everyone before the big freeze starts).
Okay I am through ranting and raving...again. Nite nite
How am I doing? Tonight..not so good. Yesterday just fine thank you. Tomorrow...who knows. I am doing my best to stay on top of the waves. To some, I appear to be on top of the world. Always traveling, always going somewhere usually to be with family. Some think I have completed my period of grieving and have sailed through it all. Grief is a very personal thing and everyone deals with it in their own way. Do not attempt to judge me or how I grieve for it is not your place. Some days I am fine. Actually most days I am good. It's when the silence and the emptiness fills the room and overpowers me that it is scary. Unless you have experienced it, don't even try to understand it. I run from the silence and it is a race that I even sometimes win.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I did move into the duplex on the 1st of August. Most of my new furniture has been delivered except for some that was damaged in shipping and is being replaced. I still don't have pictures, etc. on the wall but that will come in time. Some of this stuff I have to retrieve from the storage unit in Alabama next month. Today the landlord delivered the washer and dryer....."Hallelujah Chorus sung here". I had LOTs of dirty clothes both mine and mom's stuff and have been doing loads all day.
I moved mom into the NEW Russellville Nursing & Rehabilitation Center last week. It is SO nice and she seems to like it. It is not near as depressing as the old one was...and...since I am there every day...the brightness of the new facility is a welcome change. I have also been slowly plugging in to the local community. I participated in Hospice volunteer training last week and think that I will try to help establish bereavement grief counseling meetings here at the local office. I also have joined the Community Choir group of the River Valley along with the choir and bell choir at church. I am hoping to meet some new people. I miss my friends. Don't get me wrong, family is great, but you need other people in your life too.
Speaking of family...I went to Branson with cousin Debbie and her daughter and 2 granddaughters last weekend. Branson is only 3 1/2 hrs from here and we had a great time at the Waterpark and Celebration City and the outlet malls. shopping...now that is a Great diversion....retail therapy. oh, and fudge and funnel cakes. We got back on Saturday evening.
I will be driving to Louisiana on Thursday to help celebrate at Nicholas's birthday on Saturday then back on Sunday. I wish I could stay longer since I always have such a great time with the kids and grandkids. Short trip I know but mom has an eye dr's appt and I have a meeting on Monday anyway. I am looking forward to seeing everyone and getting away again. I am so sad that I won't be able to make the Casey-Teter Reunion this year. (I had some really neat stuff for the auction too ;-( I will try to go up and see everyone before the big freeze starts).
Okay I am through ranting and raving...again. Nite nite
1 comment:
Tonight..not so good.
Yesterday just fine thank you.
Tomorrow...who knows.
That is so true.
Day to day,
minute to minute,
second to second.
We move foward and hang on to each and every memory.
Like I tell everyone, I am hanging in there, sometimes with a log chain and other times with dental floss.
If you get up here before the big freeze tell Rett to give me a call.
Post a Comment