Fa la la la lah...la la la lah...

That is one of my favorite Christmas pictures of Jason. It was taken last year and it is so cute. (He looks a little more comfortable in it than the one of him on the left sitting in Santa's lap)

Gosh, just look around the room! It looks like Santa and the elves threw up in here. Gift bags, presents, a tree that looks like it was designed with barbie in mind, homemade cookies, Christmas Cards still not mailed. A ridiculous Christmas newsletter that should be tossed. I'm not ready but here it comes anyway. Christmas is right around the corner and I have almost made it though another Christmas without my best friend at my side. Okay, well I know he IS actually there but he can't help.

I am flying to New Orleans on Christmas Day to celebrate with some of the kids. I will see Ryan, Angie and the girls on Christmas night and then off to Hammond to meet up with Jason, Mandy, and Fe'de on the 26th, then Keri and the boys will come after me on Saturday and I will be there until Sunday or Monday. Then, both girls and their families (minus Ryan) ;-( will drive me back home and stay a few days in Arkansas. We will really miss Ricky and Beth and Bradley and Ella this year!! Hopefully we can get it together next year and at least make it back to our beach in November. I am so thankful for the times we get to spend together as family. It is such a wonderful family...I am so blessed!

My heart and prayers go out to Angie's friend's family that just lost their loved one. It is hard...really really hard but they will make it in time with God's help and loving family and friends.

Merry Christmas to you all!
Have a Blessed Holiday and stay safe.

Pictures..."Where's Linda?"

These are pictures from my trip to Florida for Linda's surprise birthday. I know the pictures are not in order and look kinda crooked but hey...at least I got them posted.

Yikes! It's almost Chrismas......

I know, it's been a month since I posted to my blog. I have been really, really busy...or maybe really really lazy..lol
Could be a little of both.
I flew out to Houston and spent a week with Jason and Mandy and Mandy's mom, Alicia. We also were lucky enough to have a houseful of great dogs. Thanksgiving was a feast fit for kings thanks to the two great cooks ...not me...I was the clean up lady ;-D -
I had a great time eating, drinking, shopping, and laughing. I flew home on Monday, Dec 1st and repacked for a trip to Tampa, FL on Thursday.
A surprise 60th birthday party for one of my dearest friends, Linda, was the reason for my trip. It was hosted by her son and husband. Another great friend flew in from Kansas City too. Karla and I spent Thurs - Sat running around town in the convertible, shopping at Kohl's. We carried around a sign that said Where's Linda? The pictures were for her birthday. Of course she was pissed that we were actually staying on the beach without her the days before the party. The party was a huge success. I will try to post some pictures.

Tampa was warm and beautiful. We hated to return to cold weather. At least I wasn't returning to snow like Karla was...lol

Gobble Gobble Gobble

Here it is almost Turkey Time and I am wondering where the last month went?? I noticed that I hadn't blogged since Oct 20th so I will try and recap the month....Halloween came and went. I missed being with the kids this year. I did face painting at the church festival and then came home and had trick r treaters. The first week in November I made a screamin trip back to Alabama to clear out one of my storage buildings. Drove over on a Wednesday and back on Thursday. Jason flew in that Friday for "Deer/Beer" camp out at the farm. This year didn't produce the venison as in past years but I know the boys all had a great time. Their stay was cut short this year because of work commitments. Funny how life and jobs get in the way at times! Jason stayed with me from Tues until Friday and he was able to get together with his cousins and other family this time. It was a treat for all of us. I also had him do all my my technical bs (electronic/ipod/computer/tv/dvr) etc. while here. I took him to the airport on Friday and I continued on to Alabama. I stayed with my friends and got to visit with most of them this time, which was nice. Gail and Glenda and I had tickets to a play called "Dixie's Tupperware Party" on Tuesday night. It was pretty funny (especially since Dixie was a tall Red headed Drag Queen!) I should have known something was up when the billing said "not your grandmother's tupperware party". Who knew that the sheet cake taker would actually hold 24 jello shots! lol

I am looking forward to flying to Houston to Jason and Mandy's house on Tuesday for a week. Mandy's mom, Alicia, and also my grandson, Fe'de will be there for Thanksgiving. It will be fun.

It seems odd that I am not headed to Orange Beach today and that must be why I feel so sad.....It is a grey day and looks almost like snow is on the way. We had spent this week on the beach for the last several years and because of other commitments we didn't make the reservations this year. Next year, I think I will go back to the beach. It has now been one year, six months, and 5 days but memories last a lifetime. It was always such a fun place. Last year we celebrated Bradley's birthday there and it was a hoot! He is 10 years old today!! Happy Birthday Bradley!!

I am so thankful for my wonderful family and friends...oh yeah...AND my two cats!

Trick or Treat..smell my feet

Give me somethin good to EAT! Here it is October 30th and I sit here thinking.....where the heck did October go? It sneaked by just like September did! I am also thinking...if I eat out of that candy bowl and NOBODY sees me..does it still count?? This idea is coming from a woman who, just an hour and a half ago, was sweating buckets from an hour workout at Zumba class while dressed as a cat in honor of Halloween. I refuse to grow up to the amazement of my children and friends ;-) and...I make a rather cute cat if I say so myself.
I hope you have a Spooktacular Halloween and get all the treats (or tricks) you need! and speaking of Spooky....

I really never, ever, ever thought I would have to be dating again at 57. Wow..it's almost like I know too much, or sometimes not enough...anyway it is certainly confusing and frustrating. Where oh where is my next Knight in Shining Armor?? Of course he has to be absolutely wonderful (since I am spoiled already) and he has to sing and love family and God and...did I mention have a boat?? And then comes the fact that I really don't even want him to be from anywhere near here. Louisiana, near the girls would be nice or Huntsville area...AND I don't want to meet him just yet. I have had a few dates with old friends from school..just getting my feet wet.

I am on eharmony.com and now match.com but just how much can you tell from a picture and a few paragraphs. I will keep you posted as this new adventure takes place in my life...you will not get all the details but suffice to say Life Goes On.

Headin to Louisiana

Time for a road trip again! well...actually I am flying..to Baton Rouge tomorrow and staying until the 21st. I will get to see Keri and Chad and the boys, Jason and Mandy, AND I will get to see my oldest Grandson, Fe'de, play football on Saturday morning! I will also get to see Angie and the girls during the week. It will be so much fun. I haven't seen them since July so I am ready...I have to get everything ready to go tonight and of course haven't started packing yet. I also have to set up my cat sitters for the days I am gone.
In a few minutes I will go and see how mom is doing today and tell her I will be gone for a few days..(not that she will remember that..but I will tell her anyway). At 7pm I have zumba exercise class and I always look forward to that.

Today was a good day. I worked at the Manna house at the church handing out food to the needy (counted my blessings) and then had lunch with some old friends!

The weather is just wonderful here...a bit cooler than it had been and the full moon is fabulous!! Be sure to look up tonight ;-)

26 days till Halloween!

 

Can you beieve it! Fall is finally here. The leaves will soon turn colors and......then Halloween! Trick or Treat!

Happy October from Cat Woman

Happy happy Joy joy

Is anyone as excited about the new fall season starting on tv as I am?? Hello Grey's Anatomy, CSI, the Unit, Criminal Minds and so many others...I have missed you all. Seems like it took FOREVER for this week to come. Okay, that may seem lame to you but I have actually been counting the days.
(I have no life) So, even though I hate that the days are getting shorter....I love the new shows ;-)

Goodbye Ike!

Nobody knows how much fun hurricane season can be! I feel like a mother hen who can't get her chicks in line to protect them for the big bad storm. Fortunately they are quite able to protect themselves. As Jason said the day before IKE made landfall in Texas....we will be fine mom, this isn't our FIRST hurricane. Keri and Angie and their families have also experienced the forces of nature. No serious damage this season so far. Just annoying power outages and tree limbs down. I don't know how long Jason and Mandy will be without power in Katy, TX (near Houston). They just had a tree down in their front yard but the city of Houston is really messed up.

Congratulations to both son-in-laws.....Chad and Ryan have both had promotions in the last few weeks!! Ryan has also decided to make a career change that has finally come through (finalizing the application/offer/acceptance process with the federal government seems to move at the speed of a herd of turtles running through peanut butter)

I just returned to Arkansas after a week back in Alabama with friends. God I miss those gals so much and the area. It was so much fun seeing them. I am always so sad to have to leave them. . I also spent quality time in my climate controlled storage building. Mostly I stared at the stuff thinking "and I kept this crap why????" Of course the winter clothes and stuff I needed were on the bottom of the piles. I realize now that I hired some bang up movers....The fragile stuff (or the things I needed) was on the bottom under the other heavy stuff. I actually found a wardrobe box at the back, on top of the bookcase, laying down sideways, with the top shoved up next to the wall. I had to be a contortionist to get into that one. My Envoy looked like a scene from the Beverly Hillbillys..full to the brim (minus the rocking chair and granny on top). Can't wait to unload that sucker.
Okay, I'm going to bed now. If you get a chance, check out the beautiful full moon.
Peace Out

Another One Bites the Dust

The following is a passage from a new book of mine:

Let me not destroy the beauty of today by grieving over yesterday...or worrying about tomorrow.

Yesterday was my birthday! Woo Hoo...I am another year older. or actually one day older than yesterday and one day younger than tomorrow. It was a great day filled with wonderful Happy Birthday Songs,Cards,food,cakes and a visit to see mom (who birthed me)... topped off with winning a prize at Bunco at Anne's house! I think I will celebrate my Birthday all Month.

Down Comes the Rain

Thanks to Gustav it is a steady rain..The forecast for the next three days is Heavy rain, heavy rain with wind, and isolated and scattered showers. I am seriously thinking of pulling out the floaties and putting them on the cats. I'm pretty sure that Callie and Izzy can't swim. For those of you who know I have children in the New Orleans and Baton Rouge areas in Louisiana and Houston, Texas..as far as I know their homes have been spared much damage with this hurricane. The kids are all doing okay. Angie and her family evacuated to Ruston, LA. I'm not sure when they will return to their home in Slidell and don't really know how hard their neighborhood got hit. You really hate to see the beautiful trees blown down by the high winds so maybe theirs will still be standing. Keri and her family chose to stay in their home in Baker and and only suffered some downed trees. Of course those trees fell on the electrical lines so, like so many others, they have had no electricity since the storm came through their area on Monday. I don't have a report as to when they might get power to their area. They will just have to live like pioneers I guess...hopefully it won't be too hot! Jason and Mandy were in San Francisco for the holiday weekend and were flying back home tonight. I don't know if Houston got much wind or rain with this storm. Thank God the kids are all fine. It is always scary and the weather can turn critical in just an instant. Now we will have the rains and tornadoes associated with this kind of weather event. It looks like it is going to be a very active hurricane season. Hello Hannah, Ike and Josephine... (Still wish I had a cruise booked!!)

I have Zumba tonight at the fitness center. I am SO excited that they are starting this class. It is a high energy dance/latin/hip hop type stuff that really gets me going. I took this class in Alabama and also at Angie's house in Louisiana. Zumba means "Party" and I am all for it and it makes me sweat...... hopefully Zumba is also not slang for "Throw a Hip or Knee out Old lady" ha ha

2 days until my birthday! ;-) Love to you all

Another Full Moon

457 days. more than 15 full moons. and again the darkness that follows the breathtaking beauty of the night. Even here, even now, the presence of his absence is everywhere.

How am I doing? Tonight..not so good. Yesterday just fine thank you. Tomorrow...who knows. I am doing my best to stay on top of the waves. To some, I appear to be on top of the world. Always traveling, always going somewhere usually to be with family. Some think I have completed my period of grieving and have sailed through it all. Grief is a very personal thing and everyone deals with it in their own way. Do not attempt to judge me or how I grieve for it is not your place. Some days I am fine. Actually most days I am good. It's when the silence and the emptiness fills the room and overpowers me that it is scary. Unless you have experienced it, don't even try to understand it. I run from the silence and it is a race that I even sometimes win.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I did move into the duplex on the 1st of August. Most of my new furniture has been delivered except for some that was damaged in shipping and is being replaced. I still don't have pictures, etc. on the wall but that will come in time. Some of this stuff I have to retrieve from the storage unit in Alabama next month. Today the landlord delivered the washer and dryer....."Hallelujah Chorus sung here". I had LOTs of dirty clothes both mine and mom's stuff and have been doing loads all day.

I moved mom into the NEW Russellville Nursing & Rehabilitation Center last week. It is SO nice and she seems to like it. It is not near as depressing as the old one was...and...since I am there every day...the brightness of the new facility is a welcome change. I have also been slowly plugging in to the local community. I participated in Hospice volunteer training last week and think that I will try to help establish bereavement grief counseling meetings here at the local office. I also have joined the Community Choir group of the River Valley along with the choir and bell choir at church. I am hoping to meet some new people. I miss my friends. Don't get me wrong, family is great, but you need other people in your life too.

Speaking of family...I went to Branson with cousin Debbie and her daughter and 2 granddaughters last weekend. Branson is only 3 1/2 hrs from here and we had a great time at the Waterpark and Celebration City and the outlet malls. shopping...now that is a Great diversion....retail therapy. oh, and fudge and funnel cakes. We got back on Saturday evening.

I will be driving to Louisiana on Thursday to help celebrate at Nicholas's birthday on Saturday then back on Sunday. I wish I could stay longer since I always have such a great time with the kids and grandkids. Short trip I know but mom has an eye dr's appt and I have a meeting on Monday anyway. I am looking forward to seeing everyone and getting away again. I am so sad that I won't be able to make the Casey-Teter Reunion this year. (I had some really neat stuff for the auction too ;-( I will try to go up and see everyone before the big freeze starts).
Okay I am through ranting and raving...again. Nite nite

Beach babies

I think I finally posted a picture! WOW Who knows what will happen next....maybe music?? of course I didn't know how to get rid of the duplicate pictures but hey......it's a step in the right direction.

OKAY What now?

Hey there I'm still here. okay maybe the here isn't where it once was but it will do I suppose. I am now a temporary resident of Russellville, Arkansas. I will sign a 6 month lease tomorrow on a duplex and move in. I picked out some new furniture and it all will be delivered soon. I have been in Arkansas for a month living in the basement apartment of my cousin Deb's house with my two furry children..izzy and callie. Of course, you know me, I haven't been here ALL the time during the past 30 days. I did drive back to Alabama for a few days to go through some stuff in the storage units, had a perfect day in Memphis, and after being back in Arkansas for a week I flew to New Orleans to be with Angie and her family. We went to Orange Beach to celebrate Madelyn's 5th birthday. We had such a great time....except for the jellyfish ugh! (and the fact that Keri and Chad couldn't make the trip.) I flew back to Little Rock last night and have rested most of the day today and tried to catch up on sleep, email, etc. I am also fighting off some sort of bug that I picked up on my travels. Today I am not sneezing but am kinda hoarse and have a cough. No fever...so it will probably be gone soon. I didn't visit mom tonight since I didn't want to expose her to the germ but I will go tomorrow if I feel better. She is so cute when I visit....everyday is like the First time. She just smiles and tells me how glad she is to see me. Obviously forgetting that I was just there the day before. I feel sure that this is where I am suppose to be for awhile to see that smile. Eventhough I miss my routine, friends, church, etc from Alabama. I will make friends here and get involved in the church and community and that will make it better. Who knows what will happen.

Red Rover, Red Rover, send cute, financially stable, emotionally mature men right over! ha ha

Happy Birthday America!

Today is the 4th of July and I am posting to this blog from the basement apartment of my cousin, Debbie in Russellville, Arkansas. My house sold and I closed on the 20th of June and was outta there the same day. Jason and Fe'de came and helped me pack up and then Keri and Chad and the boys came and helped me finish the job. I couldn't have done it without all of them.
I took pictures around the outside of the house as I said goodbye to an incredibly wonderful home. At one time it WAS a great home...full of love and laughter. However, it did become just a house. A nice house but still, just a house. I am hoping that it will once again be full of love and laughter with the new family. After a few days in Louisiana helping Keri and Chad move, I headed for Arkansas. The cats (Callie and Izzy) and I arrived in Arkansas on Monday. I have been able to visit with mom each day and have started looking for an apartment for my temporary stay here. It was difficult finding a place that would accept a short term lease AND two cats but I think I have found a nice one that has just been built. It has a pool and fitness center and lots of extra stuff. Now I just have to figure out what furniture I need to buy and what I need to move from the storage buildings in Alabama. It should be fun decorating and picking out stuff..
It is wonderful being able to hug and kiss on my mom again and help take care of her needs. I must add here that I really REALLY miss all my friends in Alabama and our routines....water aerobics, going to coffee, the movies, lunch, etc. (I know....... I have only been here for 4 days and am already ready to hit the road again! ha ha) I can hardly believe that I have actually sold the house and have moved out. Another milestone ;-)
I don't have an actual address yet but should soon. The email address and cell phone number will stay the same. I will keep you posted.
God Bless You and God Bless America!

Days of our lives

As the world turns, so do the days of our lives...

Here We Go Again!

Happy Memorial Day Weekend! Hope you are all having a great holiday. Here is a big shout out to all Veterans! Thank you Thank you Thank you for our freedom and for your sacrifices. Words really can't express how thankful we are.

I made it through the first year on my own. I walked on the beach under a full moon on the anniversary of Rick's death. I know the moon was beautiful where I was and I can't even imagine how beautiful it is from heaven.

I guess there are some of you out there that haven't heard that I had an offer on the house this past week. Actually I got two offers and as I said earlier, I just felt that it would happen on the anniversary weekend. I did accept one of the offers and the closing is set for June 20th. YIKES ! Now...the plan....what was the plan?? Of course I have been at this point before and that time it didn't work out so I am just a little gun shy. It was a good offer and I am fortunate to have been able to sell in such a depressed market. I have to assume that it will work out this time and the cats and I will be on the streets in 26 days. This will be a very difficult move for me. Leaving OUR house and OUR yard and OUR garden and the memories associated with the house. The good memories I will hang on to and the bad (illness related) I will try to forget.

I will also miss all the great friendships that I have made here. I don't know what I would have done without my support group!! My girls were always there for me. The neighbors I have had here were great too. So I will be leaving a lot of familiar faces, my fitness center, my church, my bell choir, Choir...etc. My routine. I guess I can honestly say that I won't rule out moving back here only into a smaller place. I will, for the meantime, move to Arkansas to be closer to mom for awhile. Most of my stuff will be in storage here in Alabama until I know where I will end up after that. I assume it will be somewhere in Louisiana. I still plan on running the roads quite a bit to see all of my family and friends as often as I can. I also have some old friends that are there for me and they don't care where I live they just love me anyway.

I will keep you posted on the crazyness that will be my life for the next few weeks!

The Day

Those of you close to me know what that means. When I count the days it comes up to 351 days today. So by the actual Calendar date, May 18th, it will be 353 days. All I know is that it seems like today should be the actual day since it is a Friday and it was on a Friday last year, May 18th, that my world stopped revolving around him. Sometimes I think it stopped revolving at all but I know that isn't true. As the blog title says, Life Goes On, whether we are ready to go on or not. Funny how life is. Doors open, Doors close, more doors open. People come into you life and go out and a lot of times you have no control over it.

I have enjoyed so many happy times with my Children, Grandchildren, and precious friends during the past year. I just returned home from a wonderful trip to Louisiana on Wednesday after celebrating Delaney's 8th birthday and Mother's day with Angie and Keri and their families. They never cease to let me know how loved I am and for that I am truly grateful. Thank you all for loving me :-)

Today I have a Red Hat Luncheon at the Country Club here in Athens. We will eat dessert first (my favorite)(especially since I have been on Nutrisystem for a month now) and we will dress in Red and Purple and wear big floppy hats and purple boas. Then I will come home and work in my yard and garden.

They have scheduled an open house on Sunday here. I will be gone so the cats will have to behave. Say a prayer that a buyer for my house comes to the open house. I am driving to the beach for the weekend after picking up my "almost sister" at the airport. I thought that I should be in a happy place for the weekend and celebrate the renewal of my spirit (I have actually survived a whole year) by being in a place that Rick loved so much. SO, I chose the beach where we walked hand in hand so many times. I'm sure he will be walking there with me too, I just won't see him. He will probably pass however on the outlet mall shopping trips...ha ha The weather is going to be beautiful and we will have a wonderful trip. She is going back home on Wednesday so I don't know how many days we will stay at the beach (but it is never long enough!)

Tah tah for now

Just Checkin In

Today was a beautiful day in Alabama. I woke up and walked outside to get the paper and thought "boy, we would have already been on the water today fishing!" Then I got dressed and went to church to search for peace and pray for strength. (Okay, I am still asking "why" and screaming "this is SO not fair" in my head.) Then I came home and mowed the yard and washed the car. (musta been that strength I asked for)

The yard looks nice with all the flowers starting to pop out. The grass is still dormant and brown but it hasn't been warm long enough yet for it to green up. In fact, when I flew home on Sunday from a few days with some girlfriends in Florida, we had frost here on Monday and Tuesday. I was cold AND sunburned at the same time.

The Realtors had an open house here the past two Sundays and I have had several showings in the past few weeks. Hopefully I will have an offer before too long and I can get on with my life. I had decided to give myself a year and it will soon be up and I still don't know what I am going to do or exactly where I will go.

I am still running from being alone. Since Rick died 11 months ago I have been on the following trips: Louisiana, Arkansas, Houston-Texas, Louisiana, Arkansas, Illinois, Florida, Arkansas, Las Vegas-Nevada, Branson-Missouri, Louisiana, Orange Beach-Alabama, Louisiana, Arkansas, Las Vegas-Nevada, Arkansas, Houston-Texas, Louisiana, Coco Beach-Florida.

Most of these trips involved going to see mom in Arkansas or my kids and I would have been to see them more often but they have also been sweet enough to make trips to see me here in Alabama. My next trip will be to Louisiana in May for Delaney's birthday. After that one I may have to stay put for awhile. Gasoline prices are putting a dent in my traveling style. Guess I could get a job but then you get into that "you either have the time or the money thing".

I started the NutriSystem thing when I got back from the beach. Seeing the pictures of me in a bathing suit put me over the edge. (When in the hell did I become this round thing?) The food is really not bad and it is so convenient for one person. No thinking involved - just grab a blue thing for breakfast, green for lunch and red for dinner. I am kinda cranky since I also am not drinking my Milo's Sweet Tea or eating my normal sweets all day but I can do this and with exercise maybe I can get back to normal. I really don't think I have ever done an actual diet in my 56 years.
We will see how the next month goes. Maybe I will start doing crack. I think that it causes you to be skinny (oh, and toothless)

Marching in Place

Welcome to March! Hello Daylight Savings Time.
Top of the Morning to ya and Hippety Hop Hop Hop. Hide the eggs until you drop. I think that about covers it. I am SO ready for warm weather and SPRING.

I didn't realize that it had been a month since I blogged. Where did that time go? How did I fill my days and nights? Since my last post I made a trip to Arkansas to see mom and my cousins and aunts and uncles. Mom was doing well and was happy to see me. She had gotten over her cold so I was really glad about that since there had been so many cases of flu in the nursing home. I also visited Atkins to see the destruction from the tornado that touched down there. My Aunt Susie lost everything she had when the funnel picked up her trailer and all of its contents. It also destroyed her daughter's house next door where they had taken shelter. So far, I don't believe they have found anything of hers. The trailer and everything gone in the blink of an eye. It was truly a miracle that none of them were hurt.

I got home from Arkansas on Wednesday and on that Friday, Keri and the boys came to my house. On Saturday, Lorretta, Carroll and Aunt Lucy came on their way back to Illinois from Florida. We had a great time together. The Laws left on Sunday but Keri and the boys stayed until Tuesday. We were able to celebrate Austin's 11th birthday with chocolate birthday cake for breakfast!!

Two days later I flew to Houston to see Jason and Mandy. I got to see Mandy's engagement ring up close and personal while I was there. Jason proposed to her while they were in Jamaica earlier in the month. No date has been set yet. I am so excited for them. I LOVE Love!! My grandson Fe'de flew to Houston from New Orleans on Friday night and spent the weekend with us. We had a crawfish boil on Saturday and went to the Museum of Natural History on Sunday. I flew back to Alabama on Tuesday. So....guess I have been home a week now. WHEW!

I have been to the fitness center some but not enough. I am afraid that some day I will be perfectly round. euughhh

Last Saturday I put the house back up for sale. Keri got me hooked up with a new realtor and we will see what happens now. Hopefully it will sell before too long. Apparently I still don't know what the plan is but I know this is the right time to sell. The sign is outside and it is probably on the Internet now but not out in the real estate books yet.

I also decided to take a road trip to Louisiana for Easter. It would just be too weird to be here at Easter alone. Most of the kids and grand kids have come to Alabama for the last three years at Easter. Since I don't want to miss the fun, I will make the drive to their houses and stay for a few days. I haven't been to Louisiana since before Christmas so it is time.

After I return from Louisiana I only have one more trip planned. I am flying to Orlando to one of my best friend's (Linda) house. We are probably going to go to a beach for a few days. (wish I had lost that weight I meant to lose) I will be there from the 8th until the 13th. It should really be a good time.

Nothing else is planned after that. Maybe I will go to work. Maybe I will just go crazy. Who knows. I will keep you posted.

Have a Blessed Easter.

Valentine's Day - another milestone

Happy Valentine's Day. I am happy to report that I made it through the day. I got an email from a friend that was an anti valentines day card. It suggested boycotting the day. I don't agree. Every day should be valentines day for those who love. I'm really sorry if you haven't experienced the passion that comes with that kind of love. Maybe someday you will. You have to try anyway. I just know that having it once sustains you for awhile against the void that will eventually come to everyone. Memories mean so much and they don't take up a lot of room when you keep em.
I dug out every Valentine Card and flower enclosure card that I could find that Rick sent in years past and put them on the mantle. A friend gave me a heart candle holder with a small tea light candle in it that I burned. I also wore a pair of the valentine socks that Rick had bought every year.
I then went to WalMart and got a mylar heart shaped balloon that said "I Love You" and a single rose. In the WalMart parking lot I attached a small ribbon that simply said, "I Love you! Happy Valentine's Day in Heaven! to the balloon ribbon. I then cut the weight from the balloon ribbon and threw the balloon into the air. As it soared to the heavens several people were commenting, "Oh no! There goes your balloon"!!
I smiled and said..............."It's okay, its just being delivered"
I could have done that at home but it could have gotten stuck in the trees and he already knew that I was at WalMart alot. It also made for a good story for the people in the parking lot....there was this crazy lady at WalMart's today.......

After leaving WalMart I returned home and picked up my friend, Patricia for a trip to Decatur. We went to eat lunch and then stopped by an area where Rick and I used to take our boat on the Tennessee River. There was a fishing pier that we always passed by in the boat on our way out to the "Hot Spot". Whenever there were people fishing on the pier, Rick would slow to a no-wake and idle past while waving and smiling and nodding. He had such respect for others. Most other boaters would scream by, disturbing the others but not my Rick. Anyway, forgive me for babbling, I never really knew how people got to that pier but Patricia and I drove right to it. I got out of the car and walked to the pier with the rose. As I started to throw the rose into the water, to my right I saw a boat with two men in it. One of the men said, "Is that a Valentine Rose?" I said "yes it is". Then both men in the boat hollered "Happy Valentine's Day!" I tossed the rose into the water and told them that my late husband and I had often fished there where they were fishing. I asked if the crappy were biting and they said yes they had caught some. I watched the rose float away and the fishermen floated away too.
My friend thought it was quite clever that Rick somehow arranged to have a couple of old fishermen there to wish me a happy Valentines Day! I thought it would have been nice if a Big Ole Bass had come up and put the rose in its mouth...ha ha

So now you know how my day went and that I made it through ;-)

The Rain Falls Down

I really don't know how it sneeks up on me. Sometimes I just turn around and it is there. It was a decent morning when I went to early church. I enjoyed the contemporary service and again prayed for strength and something to fill this hole in my heart. As I left the church it started to drizzle and the sky turned gray. I decided to go and get my favorite muffin and a cup of coffee from Atlanta Bread to cheer me up cause all of a sudden I felt really alone in this world. I mean, I know that I'm not alone but then again, I am. Atlanta Bread was filled with couples - 0kay most of them had their laptops with them - maybe that's where I went wrong - not bringing my laptop. Then it could appear that another person at my table would just bother me.

I left after eating my Cranberry-Orange muffin and drove to the new Bridge Street Mall. This is a new Mall that has gondolas and high end shops and a great new movie theatre. I toyed with the idea of going to the movies alone but I had just missed the starting show times for the ones I wanted to see. Since it was still raining, I walked back to the car and proceeded to put on my pity party hat. Maybe I was suffering from water retention and just needed to cry to get the balance back. I don't know but I do know that this is just part of the healing and it probably happens to a lot of you reading this blog too. We are not crazy. We are slowly recovering.

While driving home I made the following list (and then crafted it into this clever poem with the help of a little Crown Royal )

Things I Miss
I miss your smile, I miss your touch,
I miss your laughter so much.
I miss your kiss, I miss your voice,
and I know you didn't have a choice.
I miss your face and your embrace,
I miss your warmth, I miss your smell,
Sometimes days without you are just plain hell.

Things I Don't Miss
I don't miss your suffering,
I don't miss your pain,
I don't miss your disease
Cancer sucks....

Okay, I am better now. I just needed to vent and share. I really am going to be okay, it is just a long bumpy road at times.

What we have once enjoyed and deeply loved we can never lose,
for all that we love deeply becomes a part of us.
Helen Keller

My Amazing Family

Have I mentioned what a truly Amazing Family I have?? Sometimes I have to pinch myself just to make sure I'm not dreaming. My life has been so blessed with my children and grandchildren. I could not love any of you any more than I do, whether you are children of my womb or children of my heart and I want you to know that. I would walk through fire for any of you and that will never change. I am also so thankful for my extended family in Illinois that welcomed me with unconditional love when they didn't have to. You are all so precious to me. (okay, are you getting a bit nauseous??? I can change the subject now)
Did I mention how jealous all of my friends are of my family?? I LOVE IT!

I just got back from a trip to Rick and Beth's house in Henderson, NV last week. I flew out on Wednesday the 16th and then back last Tuesday the 22nd. I don't know what kind of a time tunnel I got into but I swear it seemed like I was only there a couple of days. The time just flew by. We had a ball! We pulled the camper down to Chula Vista, near San Diego on Friday and stayed until Monday. We played games (Texas Holdem - yeah Bradley kicked our butts) and enjoyed some great Greek food, Seafood, Mexican Food and some kickass Margaritas! It was just so much fun, I can't wait to do it again. We also went to SeaWorld and spent the day on Saturday. On Sunday we had a party with a Dora the Explorer Cake for Ella's 3rd birthday. You can see some of the pictures on Beth's blog. I could put some on here if I knew how but that ain't happening yet. I just hate that we are all so far apart. I guess I will spend my time just traveling to see all the kids from here since I have not re-listed my house yet. I thought I would wait a couple of months since the market is tanked anyway. That way I can leave it messy sometimes....ha ha
My next big trip will probably be to Jason and Mandy's in Houston....although I do have another granddaughter's birthday coming up in February so if they don't come here I will probably go there to Louisiana. That is the good thing about traveling South in the winter. The weather usually cooperates and I can drive there. It is a little to "iffy" to drive to Arkansas this time of year unless it is absolutely necessary cause when you see the sign that says "Bridge May Ice" you better believe it WILL ice and your ars will end up in the ditch! and don't even THINK about driving to Illinois ;-)

I guess I am done with blogging for tonight....can ya feel the love??
over and out

You Just Gotta Smile

The voice in my head is talking again. "You just gotta smile", "You can do this", "Drip the faucets so the pipes won't freeze" and other internal infomercials. and so I smile and go on.
Life is a journey and it is best to enjoy the ride if you can. (I hate riding alone but I am learning)

Sometimes when I am discouraged I am reminded of a verse of the song by Third Day titled

"Mountain of God".

Even though the journey's long
And I know the road is hard
Well, the One who's gone before me
He will help me carry on
After all that I've been through
Now I realize the truth
That I must go through the valley
To stand upon the mountain of God

GEAUX TIGERS !!

LSU Tigers Rock......... I just finished watching the BIG bowl game with some friends from Louisiana. It was great watching the Tigers kick some serious Ohio Buckeye butt.
Proud to be an LSU Alumni. Enough Said ;-)

Happy New Year!

There is not much to report today on this first day of 2008 other than I am still here. I watched the ball drop in Times Square on TV from my bed surrounded by wadded up tissues and toasted the cats with a flute of orange juice. I made it through Christmas in Arkansas and it was good to see my mom and family. I felt like I was coming down with a cold or something last Saturday so I hightailed my butt back to Alabama on Sunday. Sure enough I picked up some kind of lovely bug and will spend New Years Day in bed (most of the time anyway). I am coughing and snotty and all over ugh! It just makes you appreciate the days you feel good. (How long does a cold last anyway?) This sucks AND it is really cold outside.

Rick's brother Bill called to say Happy New Year this morning and reminded me that I could watch college bowl games all day starting at 10:30 am. That actually sounds pretty good since I don't plan on getting dressed. Bill will be celebrating at his casino of choice.
Jason called at midnight from New Orleans and wished me a Happy New Year and surprisingly I was still awake. (of course I had napped during the day) It was good to hear the words "I Love You" at the beginning of a new year when you didn't expect it.

Last year Rick and I toasted the New Year in with Ricky, Keri, Angie, and Sophie complete with the silly hats and all. It was a treasured memory since we never really thought we would make it to New Years when I bought the hats the previous February...ha ha

So, to all of you out there reading my blogg........Happy New Year! I hope that this proves to be a healthy and wonderful year for all of us.