Merry Christmas

Here I sit addressing Christmas Cards and wondering if they will get to their destination before Santa gets there. I know I meant to do this last week! I think I am done with the shopping (okay...can you ever be DONE shopping??) I have most of my gifts wrapped and have shipped most of the gifts that have to be shipped.

Christmas is officially almost here. My music is over and that makes me sad. We (the Community Festival Choir) preformed the Messiah on Saturday and the church choir had our Candlelight and Carols service on Sunday night so now there are no more rehearsals. That makes me sad. Of course a lot of things make me sad this time of year. I still miss Rick, every day every minute and the loss is magnified during the holidays. You have to look for the magic of Christmas and I do.

Today I boo hooed for an hour after Jason told me that his old cat "Pepe" had cancer that had spread throughout and that he would have to put him down this next week. Granted it has to be done. The final act of love from an owner that refuses to let him suffer. That doesnt really make it any easier. It will be one of the harder tasks that Jason has undertaken if he is as softhearted as his mom.

HOWEVER......I also have much joy this week too. I am the proud grandmother of another grandson. Jacob Ryan Dick was born into this world on Dec 13 and is now being spoiled rotten by his parents and 3 big sisters. I cant wait to spoil him too!
This was such a sudden surprise and blessing that Angie and Ryan were allowed to adopt this sweet baby. It is an incredible story and such a great Christmas present.

So...Merry Christmas to you and yours. Have a GREAT HOLIDAY!

November.....WHAT???

I have to agree with some of my fellow bloggers. Facebook has taken alot of us out of the habit of saying more than 5 words in a row. Since I last blogged the summer has slipped through my fingers. I didn't realize it was going so fast but it did. I guess I saw the tail end of it over Labor Day. The official end of summer to me is the annual Big Bash Family Reunion...."Casey-Teter" Reunion to be exact at Aunt Lucy's farm. I was so glad that the girls and their families got to be there. We missed Ricky and Beth and they missed us. It is so difficult to be so far away from family. Uncle Bill and his friend Shirley were there too! It was a great time.

Late September I was lucky enough to go on a girlfriend's cruise out of Ft. Lauderdale with Karla and Linda. Awesome ;-) Royal Caribbean take me away!

October found me mainly in Arkansas doing volunteer work at the church and rehearsing with the community festival choir. The choir is going to do the "Messiah" at Christmas and I am so excited. The performance is Dec 12th.
I also went to Alabama to get my winter clothes out of storage and then on to Louisiana. I walked in the "Race for the Cure" in New Orleans with Angie, Beth, Delaney, Austin and Nick. We were team "Boobielicious". It was fantastic and such a worthy cause. Thanks again to all of you who donated.

While in Louisiana, Angie shared the great news that she and Ryan were starting the process to adopt an infant from Nepal. The process will probaby take a year or so. I am so excited to have another Grandson to love on.

So now it is November and I am still in Arkansas. I really thought I would be moved by now to Alabama but it just hasn't happened. I am now thinking that it will be Spring before I attempt to relocate. I am waiting on a few things to happen first to make the transition easier. warm weather would be one thing....lol

I'm glad I took a few minutes to check in. I am doing fine here..although still missing Rick most every day. Can't believe it is over 2 yrs, 4 months.

As the title says.......Life Goes On ;-) when we are lucky.

 

Trip to England and Scotland 2009

Wow! That about sums it up...just wow! The trip to England was amazing. I think my favorite part was singing with so many beautiful voices together in the old churches in England and Scotland. I think of how many many voices have lifted up praise to the Lord in song over the years. The architecture was so ornate and different from the "brutalist" styles of the 60s (as our guide would say). We saw Big Ben, the Tower of London, the London Eye, Stonehedge, Buckingham Palace, the Crown Jewels. We did not see the Queen although I waved as we drove by where she was staying at the time.
London was very saddened by the death of Michael Jackson. His death was announced by the pilot on our transatlantic flight. The mood was somber. So many in London were anxiously awaiting his coming concerts. No matter what your feelings were for Michael, he was an amazing artist and I loved his music and dancing.

Oh yeah, one thing to remember if you go to England, it doesn't always rain and it isn't always cool....and (note to self) they don't necessarily have air conditioning even in the nice hotels!! The official "hottest days on record" happened while we were there. Let me just add, spoiled Americans don't like to sweat if they don't have too. Some days we had to really be on guard not to be too cranky! Yikes!

I had a great time and am looking forward to another trip soon. I will be flying to Jason and Mandy's house next week for a few days. The cats have already accepted the fact that they live in this duplex and that I only visit them most of the time.

Okay....Where did May go?

Hey out there! How is everyone? I know...you are too busy checking facebook to see what is going on now. The blog is becoming a vehicle of the past. Sad sad because I enjoyed all the pictures and detailed news in more than one sentence.
I, on the other hand, have just been lazy. I am now getting ready for my big trip this summer. I am going with the church choir from Madison AL to England and Scotland later this month. I am SO excited. We leave on June 25th and return on July 3rd after giving 5 concerts while we are there. When I get back to Arkansas I will begin the process of getting ready to make the move back to Alabama. I have no set timetable but would like to be relocated before fall. Oh....that should be fun...not!

Happy Mother's Day!

May 10th is my very first Mother's Day EVER without my mother. I know that should make me sad but honestly it doesn't somehow. I close my eyes and picture her laughing and talking with HER mother in heaven. At her side is also my sister Janeice who waited so long to hold her mother again. She is smiling and holding mom's hand. This is a beautiful picture with no room for tears. I am comforted in knowing that one day I will be in their company too.

So....to all you Motherless children out there....Celebrate!
Celebrate the Mothers you had, the Mothers you have become, and your children who love you, and all those who have mothered you along your life's journey.

There is nothing like a Mother's Love and it transcends the boundaries of earth.

At the Crossroad

Okay I keep thinking that at some point I will know what to do, where to go, how to start over. I really don't know why it should have to be this hard. So I have my pity party again. I can be alone here or alone there or alone some other place. This alone stuff just sucks. I don't know why people choose not to have someone in their life intentionally. I hope you know that I am not talking about family or friends. I am blessed with an incredible family that I love so much and good friends too. It's just that it has been almost two years now since my world stopped revolving and I can't seem to get it back on track. Maybe I am sad after watching "Grey's Anatomy" tonight and seeing Izzy there hooked up to the chemo machines. It was all too familiar and it made me miss him all over again.
I realize that I dont have to make any decisions any time soon and that is a good thing since I am a bit off balance again since mom died. Thank God I have my cats ;-)and I can put on quite a good front. I really should have been an actress.
I will try to be more upbeat next post. In the meantime, hold each other close and cherish each minute God gives you together.

Jason and Mandy Miller 4/4/09

The wedding was nothing short of perfect. Everything went well and the bride was beautiful and the groom was handsome, as was his son. The mother of the groom didn't look too shabby either I might add.
The Wedding Cake was delicious (I also enjoyed the food and the booze ;-) The band was outstanding and the only thing bad was that it was all over too fast. I really enjoyed the evening and so did my other kids that were there as you can see by the pictures. We did miss Ricky and Beth though. It was too bad they couldn't make it to share in the good time.
Life is good.

Bells will be Ringing!!!

My bags are packed and tomorrow I will drive to Louisiana. I am so looking forward to seeing my kids and grandkids again. This time it will be in celebration not sadness. My son, Jason Miller, will be marrying Mandy Goldman on Saturday, April 4th. I could not be happier. I love Mandy and her Mom. I will post some pictures after I return to Arkansas. All of my bunch will be there this time. Ricky and Beth are flying in from Nevada and Ryan should be finished with training in Georgia and back home. It should be a great party. The wedding is going to be held in the New Orleans Zoo in the Louisiana Swamp Exhibit. I hope the weather cooperates!
Life is Good ;-)

The Choice is up to You

This reading was included in a Sympathy Card sent by Delores Thornsbery in my Sunday School Class and I wanted to share it.



You can shed tears because she is gone,
OR you can smile because she lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she will come back,
OR you can open your eyes and see all that she has left.
You can be empty because you cannot see her,
OR you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
OR you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her and only that she is gone,
OR you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry, close your mind, be empty and turn your back,
OR you can do what she would want;
Smile, open your eyes, love and go on.

Author unknown

Yet Another Chapter of My Story

For those of you that don't know, I buried my dear mother yesterday. For the last 57 1/2 years and even before that I had been the center of her universe. I was the baby she longed for after losing her infant daughter Janiece at 18 months. I was the miracle that happened over 10 years later. She was a wonderful mother and I tried my best to make her proud over the years. She taught me how to love one another and show compassion and so many many other things. I will always remember her smile and how loved she made me feel. I will strive to be as good a person as she was. I would not give anything for the last 9 months that I was able to spend with her. It was so hard for me to watch her become so weak and fragile. Being selfish and human, I just wanted the impossible, for her to be mom again, when the reality was that her time here on earth was drawing quickly to an end. The circle of life. There is no doubt in my mind that she is now in heaven with all of her loved ones and in no pain..with no tears. And that is how it is suppose to be. I was, and continue to be, very blessed.

I love you momma...I miss you already....see you on the other side.

Happy Mardi Gras!

Throw me somethin Mister!
Laissez les bon temps rouler....y'all

February..going.....going....go

Well I am beginning to think that I suck at this blogging thing. In the past I could think of random stuff to blog about but now it seems I just like to read other blogs. It's not that I don't have a life. Well okay...I sorta don't have a life but I'm getting better at faking it anyway...lol
So I will now go into some of the wonderful things I have done since Vegas. I got home from Ricky and Beth's house on Monday the 24th of January. I was home six days and then headed to Louisiana. I went to New Orleans and went to dinner with a friend and then on to Angie's house to help some with the kids. Keri and the boys came over on Saturday and we had a lot of fun just being together. Like we always do! and then.....the kids got sick one by one. Angie and I thought we had outrun the virus or whatever it was....but no, we both got sick too by Thursday. I ended up staying an extra few days just to make sure I was strong enough to make the drive home. It took us quite a while to completely get over it and then Ang got sick again ;-(

I've been home again now for two weeks and am chomping at the bits to head out on the road again. I have joined a new fitness center and I am going there almost every day and working out. I just want to be skinny TODAY.. I also go from there to help mom with lunch. She seems to be failing quite a bit lately and is battling an UT infection. Hopefully she will get to feeling better soon.

Viva Las Vegas!

I just flew back to Arkansas this evening after a wonderful week in sunny....warm.....Las Vegas! I spent the time spoiling the Jackson clan....Ricky, Bradley, and Ella while Beth was in DC. She and some friends went to the inauguration and were part of history being made. We took a road trip to Red Rock Mountains and the scenery was breathtaking.

We celebrated Ella's 4th birthday while I was there. Hopefully I can post a couple of the pictures.
I am pooped out tonight since Beth and I went out for a GNO last night and didn't quite get to bed until after 3:00 am. We had a Great Time and ya know....what happens in Vegas...stays in Vegas! lol
There is also that time difference thing going on with me right now. I'm sure it will hit me at 7am in the morning when I am trying to get it in gear and be at early church by 8am to robe up for choir.
Things will calm down some and for the next 10 days I will be going back to the fitness center and eating right and all that jazz.. Then on Feb 2nd I will fly to Angie's for a week....and....ssshhhhhh
don't tell, I have an actual date on the 7th in the New Orleans area. I'm so excited. He seems like such a nice guy and I feel sure we will have a good time. I am also hoping that I will get together with Mandy and her mom and do something to get ready for the wedding. Jason and Mandy are getting married on April 4th in New Orleans. Something tells me that I will be traveling back and forth to Louisiana quite a bit between now and April!

Doors

WHEN ONE DOOR OF HAPPINESS CLOSES, ANOTHER OPENS; BUT OFTEN WE LOOK SO LONG AT THE CLOSED DOOR THAT WE DO NOT SEE THE ONE WHICH HAS BEEN OPENED FOR US. - Helen Keller

The Grey of Winter

Okay is it just me or are others already tired of this "freakin cloudy weather". I am done with the cold, wet, miserable crap outside. I get cabin fever and had to make an emergency "retail therapy" trip to Kohls in Conway yesterday ignoring the chance of freezing rain. I hate it. Come back sunshine...come back...I will appreciate you this time...I mean it ;-)
I think deep down (okay not THAT deep down) I am in post holiday depression. I had such a wonderful time with my family over the holidays. The added treat of Keri, Chad and the boys and Angie and the girls bringing me home on the Sunday after Christmas and staying until Friday was delicious...lol
The downside was that it reminded me how much I miss having that special loving person with me all the time. I'm beginning to think that this dating stuff is just too much work. I just want someone to "love me" dammit and worship me immediately. Is that too much to ask? I don't want to have to jump through all the hoops. (i think these men rent by the hour and are illegal in most states)
I am an amazing, wonderful, loving person...just take my word for it.
I also have a NEW DO for the new year. I got my hair cut "short" yikes..and the color is much darker. It is spikier and trendy and all of that but in reality...I still feel kinda like a boy. I guess I will get used to it and it will grow. I think my liking it or not liking it is also a result of the weather/post holiday depression. I have been going to exercise/dance classes this week and love the new classes. Community choir and Bell choir start back next week so that will help fill the void too.
I am also really looking forward to flying out to Vegas on the 17th for a week with Ricky, Beth, Bradley and Ella. That will be fun!

I'll be fine in 2009

Happy New Year to all of you ;-)
and goodnight!

ZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz